a new stereophonic sound spectacular

That's just an exercise, I'm trying to write in English.
I can't really figure out why I'm so scared and excited at the same time by an idea as simple as that one.

Lately it has been harder for me to write. I guess it has something to do with the fact that there is nothing left of the melancholy I felt permanently stuck in a few years ago. I've heard a lot of people say it's easier to describe your pain rather than your happiness. And I am happy now, with my accomplishments, my plans and my ambitions. Don't get me wrong, I'm much too young and future frightens me. But then again, I know that whatever I live through, it would be something extraordinary, no matter how hard. I can feel my sarcasm vanish and leave me all positive and kind, happy-go-lucky - even though only a few months ago I would express through every possible way how I hate people like these and their outlook on life. I would also listen to all the depressive music and write all the depressive poems and be depressed as a whole for no certain reason. My life is harder now, for a teenager at least. But I am aware of how much harder it can get and what I have been living through for the last few months would feel like a happy holiday in this case. I've learned how to cope with change, pain, loss and this makes me much more confident and open to the world. The way I feel might even have something to do with the recession - dealing with the fact that I can't always afford to get what I want has made me a lot more creative and it even increased my interest in areas I had never suspected could be interesting for me. These days I have been avoiding Placebo's whiny attitude and excruciating lyrics, able to make you feel bad for yourself no matter what. I am looking forward to the day when these lyrics will simply have no effect on me.

It is probably true that the more bad things that happen to you, the better person you become. Because when you lose someone you love, you can either cleanse your soul or close it to visitors, and I would always do what I can to prevent the second from happening.

People say it's good to maintain a simple living, that it's healthier not to wonder or think too much. Well, that's what I do best - think. How could I quit it? We had a long and complicated conversation while traveling home in an old train. When I look at it from another point of view, it probably sounded a bit like a movie script written by Woody Allen. We were just a group of kids who simply wonder too much.

Yesterday they stole all my money. My first reaction was not too mature (shouting it out loud doesn't really work, does it xD), but I succeeded in handling the situation as far as it had been possible and simply started making fun of myself, in a very gentle way that is. That's the reality - people in Bulgaria steal a lot and it is nothing but my fault that I had not been able to prevent this. This last paragraph has little to do with all the other ones, I just felt the urge to share this.



Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings
I'll be there
I'll be there


Drive.

This song has become more of a motto to me.